When I was in High School, I wanted to be part of the Lector-Commentator Ministry. I love to read and I'm not afraid of speaking in front of many people, so it was a really good fit for me. My mum joined in and I found out that it's a very difficult ministry to join in. It'll be very difficult to balance my work, family, love and social life if I join in. Also, I wanted an approach where people really listen. LCM don't always achieve that. No matter how great they read, there will really be people who are mentally absent and just answer automatically during masses.I needed a ministry with more 'oomph'.
I wanted to join the ministry in charge of catechisms. I believe I'll really do well in that ministry, but I guess the Social Ministry had more appeal to me. It kills 2 birds with one stone. Helping people in need and evangelizing. WINNER in more ways than 1!
So last Saturday, I attended my very first meeting with the Social Ministry. It was a real eye-opener for me. It shocked me at how many people are really selfish. Of course, selfishness sometimes have a valid reason, but that's just it. It only happens some times. If you think of what they're selfishness might result to, it's very appalling to find out that they were even thinking that! On the other hand, I'm glad to find out that a lot of people too, are willing to help. I'm also glad that we're not limiting help on the financial aspects only. I can't wait to get started. I believe this will be the stepping stone to one of my dreams - to build a sustainable community for the poor, that may help them propel themselves forward, out of poverty. I really really hope to be able to do that. I've been wondering how to start, maybe this will help me get my engines burning.
Another thing I realized, quite unexpected but hit me hard, was I felt guilty for failing my subjects when I was still studying. Poverty-stricken families rarely have food to fill their stomachs. They don't even have enough to go through school. Children fail school because they have nothing to eat, they can't think properly. They can't go to school because they have no means of going to it. They have no things to use in school. And yet, there I was, sitting my pompous ass in some of the best private schools, and yet still failing with a full stomach, a decent way to go to school and brand new school supplies. Now I understand when my parents told me: "Lahat na binigay sayo. Ang trabaho mo lang magaral, tapos babagsak ka pa" (Everything was given to you. Your only task was study, and yet you still failed).
My first day in the ministry and I already felt guilty of worrying (as a kid), feeling bad that I don't have the pencil case that pops out sharpeners and the lid on a press of a button, that I only have 24 pieces of brand new Crayola, not the 48. When I just play around with my Pilot ball pens, making them orange peel darts or a chewing toy. Discarding my Mongol pencils when they're already in half. Not even caring if my scissors (especially ballpens and pencils) got lost. Not giving a damn about how much staple wire I'm wasting just to create the perfect staple wire bracelet because I was bored in class. Guilty. Really REALLY GUILTY